Dear Dolly Mama,
When we broke up, he kept my grandmother’s shoe box of Christmas ornaments. He
also tried to steal the cat, but I kidnapped it back. The ornaments were inside his
apartment and therefore unkidnappable, even though I still had a key. He kept saying
(by email) that he didn’t know if he still had them. I knew he did, and I knew it was a
way to keep getting me crawling back to him.
I finally got a friend to go see him, get the ornaments, bring them to me. And all contact
Until. He started to harass me online. What can I do? Even my cat is experiencing the
I am terribly sorry to know of your ex not being an ex. He must really have had it bad
for you, since he is being so bad, so consistently. While I have no answer what his
place is in this cosmic economy of loss and gain, nor do I believe that anything is ever
truly lost in the universe, I wonder if you might have a bit of a part in this mess yourself.
Have you tried blocking him online? Have you tried calling the social media police?
They must have a whole department that works on ex-cess. How much of your energy
is he taking up every day? Have you thought of putting up a Christmas tree and putting
only your grandmother’s ornaments on it and sending him a photo of it? Have you
thought about figuring out how not to give a rat’s……. about him? Or his foolishness?
We can almost always have what we can let go of, in direct proportion one to the other.
If you really let go of him, as in ignore him regularly, after a ritual farewell, like a full
Christmas tree photo, with ornaments, might be, you can really have an exit from this
ex. Even letting him bother you is a mistake.
What is the best way for congregations to get mission consistent use out of their
The Land keeper June 2019 Edition Evan Pritchard page 2
Adaptive re-use is the only way most congregations are going to live to pray another
day, another way. That might include giving space away to business owners doing
startups. Let them use your light, heat, machinery, internet. Be generous with the
space and understand it is more than a chair and a desk. Think of it as the loan of
infrastructure or as an investment in a human who is making an investment in others.
Or give it away to another two or three congregations to use at different times. Many
new immigrant congregations are desperate for space and love to worship at 4. Or give
the space away to a dance or theater group. Or do all of these. Crowd the building with
humanity. Set up a coffee station (after Covid of course) and let the energies mix and
meet. For all you know, they might come to worship. BUT NEVER ASK THEM TO.
Make sure you are full square living in the gift economy and see what happens.
Or consider turning some of the space into affordable housing. Cross subsidizations
are where market rates support affordable. Build a high rise on your land. Penthouses
top two floors, the rest for the dancers and immigrants using your building.
Jesus would love the activity and the giving. And you might too. Every bill you pay that
is divided by 12 makes the costs of business high. Every bill you pay that is divided by
12 x 12, or 7 x 7, makes the costs of doing business lower. Multiple the gift economy
and it might even multiply you. Eventually some of these people will be the ones who
help you pay the “light” bill.